UNPROOFED BECAUSE IT’S FUNNIER THIS WAY.
Last time on, “Shannon Tries to Be a Comedian”…
“You can’t do a completely different set of comedy every time you go on stage!” the lighting manager1 implored me. “Do you have a death wish?”
“I do now,” I said grabbing him2 by the throat and smashing him in the head with the candle he used to signal the end of a set. As his body collapsed to the floor beside the high-top, I sneered, “That’s a wrap3.”
I am without children until Thursday and as it happens there are three open mics this week. I’m not sure if I can go to all of them4, but I tried out my new material tonight at the bar and did okay.
Now, okay at this bar is decent. It’s not a huge audience – maybe 20 people – and half of them are comedians floating in and out of the room. But I get the distinct impression that a lot of them try their new stuff here before going to one of the comedy clubs.
I was nervous and hadn’t really memorized them yet, so I had to rely on my small notebook, which creates an awkwardness that is kind of hard to overcome. People want the comedians to just “tell jokes,” but my executive dysfunction is not a fan of memorizing shit. So, I do what I can.
I got quite a few laughs from my (dare I say it?5) friend Blue. And a few of the civilians laughed at a few of the jokes too. I couldn’t tell how I was doing until I heard the laugh from this one comedian who’s really funny and performs professionally.
Also? He seems to have new material every time I’ve seen him perform. I don’t know if it’s all new, but he’s got a lot of great material. So to hear a laugh from him was quite validating in the moment.
The laugh blurted out kinda loud and very distinctive. And that was all I needed to be ready for tomorrow night.
On the way home, I had more ideas which I haven’t jotted down yet, but they are miraculously staying in place while I write this.
Tomorrow, I will be recording again and will share the video here. If you missed my previous performance, where I gave myself the challenge of doing an entire four-minute set of abortion jokes, you can watch that here.
This is not what you call the guy with the candle. Usually it’s just another comedian. But I’m promoting him because he does a good job.
I don’t actually know who does the candles at the show. I don’t have anything against them. I just thought I’d liven things up for people who are new here.
This literally makes no sense. You don’t say “That’s a wrap” at any point in comedy. But we’re all going to pretend my lazy word play worked so I can move on with the writing, alright?
Gas money is an issue.
I never know when that transition from acquaintance to friend takes place. But I like them and they even listened to my jokes and gave me a suggestion that I used.