Hitting My Stride
How one ADHDer adapted to competitive employment
UNPROOFED AND UNASHAMED.
Rach (@AdultingADHD) recently advised people on the importance of setting boundaries early on in a job before others take advantage of the can-do attitude ADHDers are known for.
This was a huge thing for me in my current job, where I’ve been four years now.
I often look around me, at the position I’m in at work, and just laugh. I’ve had a lifetime of employment struggles, but I feel like I’ve finally found a place where my talents are actually valued and relied upon, rather than my deficits and shortcomings frowned upon.
Because the first ten years I worked, it was a complete shitshow. I had worked 301 different jobs by the time I was 26, which I’ve mentioned many …
… many …
… many …
… MANY times.
In the 17 years since I got my first “grownup” job at 26, I’ve only had five jobs. I’ve made mistakes and had a serious setback five years ago, but on the whole I’ve been on a gradual upward trajectory.
It dawned on me today that maybe some of you ADHDers who are struggling with competitive employment (as opposed to the completely different set of challenges posed by self-employment) might be able to take some lessons from what I learned and apply them to your own situation.
With the important context that I did not get my college degree until the age of 38, I present to you Shannon’s Lessons from a Lifetime of Employment Desperation.
Lesson 1: Sooner is Better
When I was young, I just wanted to be a writer, so I didn’t really care what my “real” job was. That was temporary. It was a stop gap until I became a professional writer. So I didn’t really have any aim and I’d bounce from job to job without purpose.
I was so convinced that a college degree was the only way to get the job you wanted. But it’s not. It wasn’t until I got my first grown-up job and thrived there over nine years that I learned that experience is often nearly as valuable.
Whatever industry you want to be involved in, there’s an entry-level position, even if you don’t have a college degree. Because whatever job you take, what influences your ability to advance within the company is the relationships you make at that job.
Of course, a lot of us also have social anxiety or phobia due to rejection sensitivity. That makes workplace relationships fraught. But the way you stoke those relationships is by doing your work the best you can. And when we are properly motivated, ADHDers can run circles around our NT counterparts.
But for us to be motivated, we have to tackle tasks that interest us. At the time, my greatest interest was writing. But the jobs I was taking? Server, telemarketing, Chuck E. Cheese2, support staffer for developmentally disabled adults, produce boy, janitor, and so much more.
The one time I got paid to write was when I somehow became the Sports and Leisure Editor for a military base’s newspaper, but that did not go well….
Even if you struggle to stay employed, if you find a job where you think you can be happy for a while, STAY THERE. At least a year. You don’t need to stay somewhere nine years to impress hiring managers anymore.
I have been involved in hiring for our company on some very entry level positions and trust me when I say that a year of experience in one job is relatively impressive.
Lesson 2: Getting Fire is Not the End
I had 30 FUCKING JOBS from 16 to 26!!! And I was fired from at least half of them.
When you get fired, it can often feel like the end of the road. Nobody will ever want you again. But trust me on this: SOMEBODY wants you.
And yeah, that’s usually not a great job either. But the point is that getting fired really sucks, but it’s not going to stop you. It’s just going to slow you down.
I’ve even been fired from a really good, really well-paying job because one particular task (transcriptions) was unpleasant for me due to (what I would much later learn was) my audio processing disorder.
I was unemployed for three months before I got a job. And that job SUUUUUUUCKED. But I was able to find a slightly better job with a boss who ALSO SUUUUUUUCKED.
That boss was a megalomaniacal screamer who hired and fired three different marketing managers amidst my own debacle.
But the job after that? That job became my current position, where I’ve risen through the ranks thanks to one of an ADHDers greatest skills.
Lesson 3: Be Adaptable
“Jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”
I thought I knew what would be my greatest employment asset: my writing. That’s why I finally settled on getting a BA in corporate communications from a mid-tier college at the age of 38. If you’re a writer, then marketing makes sense, right?
WRONG!
At my current company, I started as an assistant marketing manager. I was supposed to take care of email and social media marketing. And whatever I proposed, they hated it.
I was being super-creative and imaginative, when what they wanted was just the info the customers wanted. It was discouraging because I always thought of myself as a master wordsmith and here my words weren’t wanted.
But then I noticed something nobody else did.
In past jobs, I had pointed out issues with the way things were done, but was dismissed because that was the way things were done.
At this job, when I pointed out the issues, I was asked to fix them. And I did. Then I found more issues, pointed them out, and fixed them. This continued until I became the guy who oversaw all the systems in our company to make sure they’re running properly and efficiently.
I would never have thought this would be my strength for a company, but turns out I see things other people don’t. I believe this is because my brain is used to making sense out of the chaotic sensory intake I’m exposed to as an ADHDer. I’m used to making sense out of vast amounts of information.
And now, that’s what I do and I’m really good at it. Being adaptable led me to this realization and if you’re good at adapting, do not underestimate this skill.
Lesson 4: Be Lucky
Aside from privilege, the other thing I had on my side was just plain luck. I happened to apply for the right job at the right time. Or I happened to have the right manager at the right time.
The two longest jobs I’ve had both started with one manager threatening to fire me for careless mistakes and another manager taking over and being a supportive, nurturing role model.
If those initial managers had stayed on a little longer, I probably would have been fired. But they weren’t. And because I had the right managers at the right time, I was able to thrive.
In hindsight, I can see how this dynamic affected my entire childhood academic career. I had one teacher who was supportive and encouraging. Mrs. Olish in third grade.
When my girls went to school, all of their teachers seemed like Mrs. Olish, in terms of helping my children with their unique struggles. What if I had had that then? What a different world this would be.
So remember that sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, it matters who is overseeing you. Not every supervisor is going to be interested in helping you grow, but the ones you do are invaluable.
Conclusion
Competitive employment fucking sucks. It’s stressful and boring and unpredictable for ADHD folks. But we HAVE to do it.
My parting advice is at least try to have fun while you’re making your way. It’s good to have a plan and goals and a dream to chase. But my favorite part of all my jobs has almost always been the relationships I’ve made while there.
You aren’t a machine. And as an ADHDer, your similarities with the other humans can sometimes seem tenuous at best. Employment can sometimes make those differences seem even more drastic, as you struggle where others grind on.
But remember that your brain wasn’t made to function in the standard fashion. This causes friction with those who can’t figure out what the hell you are all about. Everyone else can do X, Y, Z, why can’t you?
You can’t do X, Y, Z because your brain wasn’t wired for X, Y, Z. It was wired for Ξ, Ψ, Ω3. And someday you will also happen to have a supervisor who realizes how valuable an understanding of Ξ, Ψ, Ω can be.
That’s where I am and I hope you can get there too. Don’t get discouraged. Work isn’t life. Keep living while you wait for the right job to come along. You’ll be great!
I had tallied all the jobs on a computer and lost it when I wrote this tweet. All together, I’ve had 35 jobs, but 30 of those were before the age of 27.
I don’t remember my title, but I got to dress up as Chuck and so that is my title now.
If you’re gonna get pedantic, don’t. It’s a metaphor. Relax. I don’t know Greek. I don’t care.