The Lie Detector
ADHDers SUCK at lying
UNPROOFED FOR MY PLEASURE.
ADHDers have terrible working and short-term memory, both of which are necessary to be an effective liar. For the most part, it takes zero effort to remember the truth.
But depending on who you’re lying to, they may remember the details much better than me. This has happened a few times when I tried to lie and it bit me in the ass every time.
Because of this and the Catholic guilt that was instilled in me from a young age, I also just have a harder time lying in general.
As a result, when I do lie I feel incredibly self-conscious and struggle to sound natural in any response longer than “yes” or “no.”
In fact, this feeling is so intense that I sometimes have it even when I’m telling the truth. Usually, it’s about something important and I want to make sure I’m being as accurate as possible. Even if I know what I’m saying is true, I’m haunted by the guilt of a potential lie.
And so, rather than lie, I try to live in such a way that I don’t have to lie.
Now, I’ve heard others talk about something I’d call spontaneous lies. This is when someone asks you a question and you’re only half listening, so you half answer “Yes,” before your brain finally process the question, “Can I borrow your credit card to buy these golden hemorrhoids1 I found on Amazon?”
This is not technically a lie. This is a weird reflex we have to answering questions quickly, even before we have all the information we need.
A lie is giving a knowingly false answer. Blurting out the first word that comes to mind before you even know what you’re answering is some kind of primal nervous tick that we typically correct once we know the actual question.
But I would propose that it’s harder for ADHDers to lie because of our working and short-term memory deficits. And if you feel guilt over lying, then it’s game over. You’d rather die than lie2.
Because this is what I experience, I always find it baffling how many people are okay with casual lying. I try not to do it, but I have been guilty of it as well. But I’ve also known people who lie regularly and part of me envies their ability to bypass responsibility with a well-placed falsehood. But part of me is glad I strive to live honestly. It does seem to make life a little easier, most of the time.
True story: there are golden hemorrhoids in the Bible.
Yes, we are melodramatic sometimes.